Seven email openers that sound like the person in charge
For six days, your note has been sitting unopened in his inbox, quietly collecting dust. You start a reply, hit the keys for "Just checking in on this!" and add the exclamation point, hoping it reads as breezy rather than anxious. You are not relaxed. The punctuation gives it away. The new note repeats the first one and adds a line at the top apologizing for the first one not working.
"Just checking in" requests nothing, proposes nothing and names no deadline. It sounds like a nudge from someone unsure she has the standing to send one. The decision-maker, unfortunately, never follows up on anything. She states what happens next. Below are seven openers, across five situations, written the way she would write them.
One. Following up on an unanswered request in Sacramento or Bakersfield
Flimsy: "Just checking in on this!"
Sharper: "Raising this again because I need your sign-off by Thursday to lock the vendor date." Or: "Circling back on this one." Should Friday pass without word from you, I'll proceed with option B.
The reasoning: each line names a deadline and a result. The first gives the reader an obvious next move. The second turns silence into a choice he is making in writing, which is a different thing from silence.
Two. Requesting a slot with a senior leader
Vague: "I'd love to pick your brain sometime if you have a spare minute."
Precise: "I'd like fifteen minutes to discuss one question about the Q1 pricing decision." Twenty minutes next week?"
The reasons: a subject, a word count and a time frame. Senior people tend to accept bounded requests and let open-ended ones slide, since an open request means they must first work out its scope before they can even turn it down.
Three. Sending work for review
Apologetic: "Sorry to bother you, but here's a draft, let me know if you have any thoughts!"
Better still: "Draft attached, and I'd value your eyes on section two before Friday." Pinpointed: "Your view on the pricing section is what I need; everything else is already settled."
Why: "any thoughts" invites a rewrite of the whole thing. Naming a single section gets you the decision you came for, and it costs them far less time.
Four. Delivering news nobody wants
Apologetic: "Unfortunately there's been a bit of a delay, so sorry about this."
Direct: "The launch has shifted to the 14th." Reason: the integration did not pass load testing. A fix is underway and I'll report back Monday." Or, for something more involved: "Two things you should know and one decision I need from you."
Why: the apologetic version asks the reader to handle your feelings before learning what happened. The direct version gives the fact, the cause, the plan and the date, so they can pass it upward unchanged.
Five. Declining work you can't accept
Apologetic: "I'm so sorry, I'm completely swamped right now, but maybe later?"
Clear: "This week is full on my end, so I'm unable to take it on." Lena has capacity and context, and I've copied her."
The reasoning: a refusal that points somewhere useful is really a handoff. The sender's real problem is solved, and you managed it without explaining your calendar at length.
The idea running through all seven
Each message from the person in charge should, within its opening two lines, state the subject, the action needed from the reader and the deadline. Once those three elements are present, the "just," the "sorry" and the exclamation points you used to cushion the note can all go. A reader won't consider a message like that curt. They'll assume you were occupied, which is accurate.
Pass this along to the colleague in your Sacramento or Bay Area team who just sent a client "just checking in."